Song Bird

Maya Angelou is, perhaps, my most favorite literary giant. Her words are rich and powerful, touching and poignant, yet she is so altogether unassuming.

Exhibit A recently read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, possibly one of the greatest books of all time, by my estimation. She was moved, as most of us are, by Maya's story.

There's a stand alone Angelou essay about Maya's brother who played an integral part in the events that shaped her life and Exhibit A felt compelled to write her own piece about the single most important person in her world. In keeping with the singing theme, she selected a song that reminded her of her subject and she interwove the lyrics throughout her writing.

She chose me.

She stood in front of the room with her selected piece of music playing in the background and she began to read her words with a confidence we all wish to have when the spotlight shines upon us.

I can't possibly express here the depth of her essay or even hit the highlights, for I know I won't do it justice. I am not sure I've ever felt so utterly overwhelmed with pride, love, humility and gratitude all at the same time.

I can tell you that the part that touched me the most was that she said I was a "working woman"... but she didn't mean I have a job. Instead, she stated that I don't approach anything with less than my best and no matter whether it's a volunteer position, my job, a family matter, fighting an incurable illness or sustaining a relationship with another person, I put forth 150%. She also talked about my green eyes, my mad cooking skillz, my willingness to teach other people new things and, perhaps most touching, my ability to face adversity with courage, strength of character, beauty, grace and an unending sense of humor.

All the while she wove into her essay the following lyrics by Kate Voegele which continued to play in the background:

This road is anything but simple
Twisted like a riddle
I've seen high, I've seen low

So loud, the voices of all my doubts
Telling me to give up
To pack up, leave town

Even so, I had to believe
Impossible means nothing to me

So can you lift me up?
Turn the ashes into flames
'Cause I have overcome
More than words can ever say
I've been given hope
That there's a light on up the hall
And that a day will come when the fight is won
And I think that day has just begun

Somewhere, everybody starts there
I'm counting on a small prayer
Lost in a nightmare
But I'm here, and suddenly it's so clear
The struggle through the long years
It's taught me to outrun my fears

Everything that's worth having
Comes with trials worth withstanding

So can you lift me up?
Turn the ashes into flames
'Cause I have overcome
More than words can ever say
And I've been given hope
That there's a light on up the hall
And a day will come when the fight is one
And I think that day has just begun

Oh lift me up... oh lift me up... oh lift me up
Lift me up, lift me up
Oh, lift me up

Down and out is overrated
And I need to be elevated
Looking up is not enough
No, I would rather rise above

So can you lift me up,
Turn the ashes into flames
'Cause I have overcome
More than words will ever say
And I've been given hope
That there's a light on up the hall
And that a day will come
When the fight is won
And I think that day has just begun

How is it that one so young is so incredibly wise beyond her years and that she understands so much more than so many people who have lived longer and fuller lives? Once again, I am humbled... yet also just incredibly thankful that that my words and actions have reached her, that I am one step closer to where I need to be in order to know with great certainty that my work here is, indeed, done.

Girl Talk

My house backs up to thick woods which right now glow with the fire of fall colors. The beauty of living in the dirty south is that on a crisp fall day it's just cool enough to whisper autumn but fair enough to soak the outside world in sunlit warmth.

Exhibit A and I sat on the deck this afternoon sipping hot, spiced cider and talking about everything and nothing all at once.

As her words started to flow she opened up to me more and more and for the first time ever, there was talk of... a boy.

She likes a boy but she doesn't know his name. He is tall and has strawberry blonde hair. I asked her if she'd just seen him from afar and thought he was cute and she looked at me like I have three heads then went on to explain...

She was in the hallway trying to get from one class to the next and a few things dropped from her locker. The boy was passing by and stopped to help her. He picked up what dropped and handed it to her with a smile.

The measure of a man is not so much in his looks or even in his words, but in his actions. I've tried to model a life of action for my children and explain to them what matters most. How happy I am that my daughter has already started to figure out what took me years and years to understand.

Chivalry...

It's not dead.

I fully admit that in my life time I have made a few poor choices with regard to the princes who have come and gone from my kingdom. I believe that in any such relationship the signs are there if you look hard enough... but often we want so much for things to have a fairy tale ending that we overlook the obvious or, perhaps, the subtle. For some, the issue isn't so much that they don't see the signs but that they simply become too enmeshed in their patterns that they are willing to accept mediocrity. On the flip side, sometimes we don't give enough credit where credit is due and we fail to recognize how truly amazing the people in our lives are which puts us at risk of missed opportunities to kiss frogs or sleeping princesses.

I've been hanging out with a particular prince for awhile now. Tonight I had some errands to run and he happily offered to come along to keep me company which, I believe, was code for keep me safe.

As we stood in line at the grocery store an elderly lady in front of us dropped a $20.00 bill on the ground. It came as no surprise that the prince picked it up and handed it to her. As the cashier gave her the total, this sweet lady realized she hadn't enough cash with her and stated she needed to put some items back. Without knowing the amount owed, the prince informed the cashier that he would be covering the balance. The thing is that it didn't surprise me in the least and it was almost a race to see who could get the words out the fastest as my mind works in exactly the same way and I certainly would have offered had he not.

So yes, chivalry is not dead... I just think, sometimes, our sensitivity to the acts of kindness around us might be.

Things That Make Me Happy

1. My little one's belly laughs... the kind that is only ever elicited by his awesome big brother, the kind that makes people stop and listen and laugh themselves. The kind that you wish you could bottle and listen to whenever you have a bad day now or years from now.

2. Skinny margaritas... rocks, sugar.

3. Waterfalls... nothing like hiking a remote trail, finding a big rock and just hanging out there for the day. Best to go with someone who plays the guitar (bonus points if that someone is responsible for hiking in with it).

4. White water... doesn't matter where, what category... just gimme some.

5. My bikes... my stupid, cheapass, silly, girly pink mountain bike. It makes me feel strong and reminds me not to lose my sense of humor. My pretty roadie that has taken me down paths I never knew existed, both literally and figuaratively.

6. Knowing that there is no item #6... and getting the joke.

7. Teaching group X classes to newbies who are hooked immediately, to athletes who can handle the challenge and keep coming back for more, and to everyone in between.

8. Music... I have such a connection to music... I can tell you what was playing on the radio 22 years ago when I was driving a friend's Toyota Carolla, sitting at the intersection of Wisconsin Avenue and River Road in DC. It was not a special moment in time, nothing interesting happened. It's just how I am. It's like there's a musical score always going on in my head. Music is important to me every second of every day. Really.

9. Special K... after spending our college years together it has been a treat for us to live near each other once again and for me to know the incredible woman she has become.

10. My other BFF... not a day goes by that we don't laugh together, sometimes even through the tears. Just moments ago during a very serious and difficult conversation I couldn't resist the urge to say something over the top sassy. It broke a moment that needed breaking and we both understood it, we found solace in the ensuing giggles, and that was good therapy.

Not long ago she sent me a note that said "there is so much to thank you for but what I really want you to know right now is that you've been the most amazing friend a person could ever have." I feel exactly the same about her... and that, in and of itself, makes me happy.

11. Making other people feel good, helping those in need, being the best friend/mother/insert any number of titles here... that I can be makes me happy. I hope that I've made a difference in the lives of others whose hearts and heads I've touched. I hope I've made people be more self-reflective and inspired big thoughts. It is my sincerest hope that someday someone will say that a day without the Cranky Princess is like a day without sunshine.

12. My job. I feel so blessed to do what I love and therefore love what I do.

13. Watching my daughter dance. It's amazing to me to see such passion and drive in one so young.

14. My Prince Charming... the one I'm lucky enough to love... who loves me to the moon and back and then some. I think he's kinda lucky, too.

15. My guidelines for how to live my life. They keep me grounded. I'm proud that I have them &, for the most part, that I stick to them.

My Philosophy...

The best we can hope for in life is that we have laughed often and loved much, and that at the end of our days we can honestly say we have lived a life of integrity, have few, if any, regrets, and that we have told the people who matter how very much they made our hearts sing.

As I reflect upon a life well lived, I think to myself, "what advice would I give others?". It seems so obvious to me but I've come to realize that perhaps it's only so because I find myself in a position to be reflective, to take stock and to judge how successful I've been in the areas that really count. So here goes:

Have a sense of humor. Face life with a smile on your face. And, for the love of God, never, ever take yourself too seriously.

When it's important, tell people how you feel no matter how difficult it is to express, how uncomfortable it may feel in the moment, or how much of yourself you have to expose. You alone are accountable to and for yourself and you must be your own advocate.

Make sure your actions exemplify your words. For they speak far louder than tiny utterances ever will.

Deal with anger, frustration or general crankiness in constructive ways... don't take things out on people who have no control of your world or did not contribute to the problem at hand.

Support others' efforts to live their best lives, whatever that means to them, even if it's not the path you would choose for yourself or have them choose for themselves. Express concerns if you have them and be honest, but ultimately, it's their choice... and often choice, not chance, determines destiny.

Appreciate even the smallest acts of kindness. Practice your own random and specific, planned acts of kindness on a daily basis.

Know who you are when no one is looking.

Apologize when you need to... and even when you're not sure you need to. No one will ever fault you for apologizing... but a lack thereof is ultimately egotistical.

Pick your battles, and never, ever pick petty things, for they are seldom worth the fight.

Give people choices. No one wants to be backed into a corner and you can't control other people's words or actions anyway.

Carefully consider your options so that the choices you make do not lead to regret.

Be spontaneous but never reckless in words or actions.

Remember that life is short and experience as much as you can, journey as often as possible... and take the road less traveled when you do.

Another Resident Writer

As I sat on the sofa trying not to bleed on pretty pink satin, wondering how on earth I managed to birth a child whose passion requires that I singe ribbons and sew things with sharp needles and dental floss, said child looked at me with those baby blues and said, "You know, mom, writing is kinda my thing."

It wasn't really news to me, she used to shut herself in her room for hours and write and illustrate stories, but I asked her if she had something new she wanted to share. She'd been working on a poem for a county contest, the theme of which this year is Beauty and had just finished it.

Beauty is Dance
- by Exhibit A

Dancing is meaning
Beauty in both
Dancing is feeling
Love with no words

Dancing is flawless
Worshipping perfection
Dancing is art
Picasso with no brush

Dancing is passion
Knowing what you want
Dancing is grace
Walking with talent

Dancing is learning
No wisdom too much
Dancing is breath taking
Stunningly elegant
Dancing is Beauty

And so it seems that at her young age she's already figured out that when you write from your heart, when you write about that which you are passionate, you create unparalleled beauty in your words.

Athlete's Honor

We often forget that listening to our bodies and respecting the recovery process is just as important as tackling the difficult training tasks that become part of everyday life. So many athletes don't realize that it is, actually, through recovery, whether within or outside of a given workout, that our bodies do their best training. The more fit you become, the more quickly you recover. Athletes that are plagued with chronic injuries are typically those that don't know the meaning of rest days or sidelines or how to fine tune their bodies enough to know when to keep pushing and know when to say nada mas.

There are two ways to honor your body. The first is to know when and how to challenge it. The other is to know when to back off.