Sunday, August 28, 2011

I Am Just Me

My eldest offspring recently completed a beautiful project for her language arts class in which her teacher gave her sentence starters and she had to write a poem around them. The students had to create a photostory with pictures and music to match the poetry.

Having had a rough day today that has called into question every fiber of my strength, courage and pain tolerance, I thought, perhaps, a little reflection was in order, so figured I'd try my hand at the poetry piece of a middle school project.

I am just me.

I wonder why people don't realize that the greatest rewards come from building up other people rather than tearing them down.

I hear the deafening silence inside the castle walls and face the frustration of conversations not yet begun and those left unfinished.

I see far beyond right and wrong.

I want to walk off into the sunset and simply disappear.

I am just me.

I pretend that I'm unflappable today, yet the truth is that I've never been more afraid than I am at this exact moment.

I feel hopeful when I hear about random acts of kindness, for it makes me believe that people are, in fact, inherently good.

I touch my cheek and realize that a tiny tepid tear has escaped from my otherwise icy cold interior.

I worry that I could have, should have, done better, tried harder, been something or someone I simply didn't know how to be.

I cry when I grieve the deaths of the most intimate and intangible things.

I am just me.

I understand that my body doesn't always play nicely and therefore managing pain is part of who I am, and that all of the woulda shoulda coulda if onlys in the world will never change that.

I say that I want to live without regret.

I dream of being content.

I try to live a principled life and to encourage others to do the same.

I hope I can fly... in a thousand different ways.

I am just me.