The Assumption

I was recently asked to answer the question "What do people assume about you that isn't really true?". It was a thought provoking question, requiring me to see myself through others' eyes and reconcile some truths about who I am.

Newsflash: I'm an introvert.

Many people find this absolutely shocking given that I spend my days connecting with students, holding space for others, being their cheerleader, sounding board, confidante and creating community... but the reality is that when that part of my day is over, I turn deeply inward. I absolutely love what I do for a living, but it's really a curious thing, the rim of this two-sided coin on which I dwell.

If there is such a thing as an extroverted introvert, perhaps that is the space in which I reside. After intense social situations... and by intense I pretty much mean "any"... I have to decompress quietly in my own space. While I can make friends pretty easily because I talk to everyone, I have great difficulty maintaining these relationships, a fact that I'm facing and with which I am struggling. I realize that I am the common denominator in all of these friendships.

Thus, I believe that one of the biggest false assumptions people make about me is that I have a circle of close friends that radiates out exponentially. I simply don't... in fact, I find myself spending many weekends and holidays alone and often hear "I assumed you had plans or I would have invited you!" when folks ask "What did you do for Christmas/Easter/last Saturday night?". I know a lot of people, I interact with a lot of people, but my true social circle is decidedly small, consisting of a few women and men for whom my gratitude overflows. I can hold my own in any conversation, but I abhor small talk. I seek depth and connection and struggle with surface level chit chat. I don't mind being alone, and I don't usually feel lonely... that whole introvert thing is a great buffer, and without alone time, I suffer... but I am keenly aware of the importance of social integration and connection to overall health, happiness and well being.

So there it is. The assumption and my truth.