Dear Preschool Moms,
I think it's really sweet that you all want to go out to breakfast and get to know each other and do playdates with your little ones, sing kumbayah and roast marshmallows together... but understand that I actually enrolled my third child in preschool so that I can do things like grocery shop, go to doctors appointments and pee all by myself. Someday you will learn.
Dear Elementary School Moms,
I work out. A lot. I don't always have a chance to shower before walking into the building. I don't have a southern accent, I don't call the grocery cart a buggy and I get my picture taken, not made. While you wear pearls, I wear Pearl Izumi. I own some sparkly jewelry but I rarely wear any of it during the day. Dressing up for me means wearing a sports bra that complements my top. My perfume is Eau de Sweat or, every once in awhile, Eau de Chlorine. I volunteer at school when I'm needed but I also find time for myself. I'm sassy like that.