Monday, September 1, 2008

Egregious Errors in Domestic Divadom

So the Queen was here for a week which means that my household was scrutinized and commented upon for the duration of her stay. She generally will say things like, "do you mind if I give you some constructive criticism?" and, once I agree to listen, "I hate the color of your living room." I am not exactly sure where the constructive part comes in, but whatever.

So here's the current list of my egregious errors in domestic divadom:

- I don't have color-safe bleach in the house
- I don't have the corn shaped corn on the cob holder thingies
- The picture on the wall behind the table "competes" with the light fixture over the table
- My thermometer is substandard
- I don't buy cookies and ice cream at the grocery store
- I check my email too much and have too many work-related phone calls during the day... nevermind that I actually work from home
- Although she doesn't know how much I make, it's obvious that whatever it is, it's not enough for the amount of time I spend doing it. She might have a point there.
- Several of my candles currently have wicks that are more than 1/4" long
- My running shoes are in the laundry room instead of my closet
- Exhibit C, is, apparently, going to grow up to be a sociopath because I let him play Lego video games. Who knew?

And so it goes.

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