I'm thankful for so many things, but in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I always like to recap. It doesn't much change from year to year, but it bears repeating:
... my children, for they inspire me to be my best self. They make me happy and hopeful each day, regardless of what else is going on in my kingdom.
... my circle of friends, for they are really so much more than anyone could ask for. I hope I'm half the friend to them as they are to me.
... my job because, despite the craziness at times, I do what I love and therefore love what I do. It's such a gift to be passionate about your work. Even with other offers on the table, I am reminded of just how fabulous my team is and how life without them would be a whole lot less fun.
... laughter, which I still see as not only good medicine but also life's loveliest music.
... the days when my body cooperates and even the days when it doesn't; for it's in the days when it doesn't cooperate that I realize how very fortunate I am to have days when it does. That makes being able to do whatever I can do (no matter how slowly, painfully or carefully I must do it) all the sweeter.
... Dove Dark Chocolate Promises with Peppermint Bark on Top; this is, obviously, self-explanatory.
... my crackerjack doctors who have the patience of saints when it comes to likely their most challenging patient. I am, indeed, a royal pain, yet they are so good to me.
... my sense of humor and ability to never, ever take myself too seriously. I can't imagine how much of a struggle life would be without this gift.
... insight, perspective and gut instinct; for when I think carefully about people and events and listen to my head and heart, I am thankful for the gift of clarity.
... the things that make my house a home, things which can be neither bought nor sold, the invaluable intangibles.
... giggling children, good wine, great music, puppies, kittens, and various other little things that make me smile big smiles. For in little things, there is joy.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
All I Need to Know
Tonight I decided I had to have one last conversation... I laid it all out. I explained where I was and how I'd arrived at that place and the paths that might have led me elsewhere. I decribed the process and made clear my perspective, backing up my assertions with concrete examples. I reminded him of offers made, actions forgiven and hopes that die last. I asked the questions that needed asking and received exactly the answers I expected to receive.
And in the midst of this conversation, while saying all the right things at all the right times, he opened his computer and checked his fantasy football scores.
That's really all I need to know.
And in the midst of this conversation, while saying all the right things at all the right times, he opened his computer and checked his fantasy football scores.
That's really all I need to know.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
I Admit It... I Was Wrong... once... :)
Dear Mrs. H,
I wasn't so sure about you at back to school night. I was thinkin' you weren't really warm and fuzzy enough to be a pre-school teacher, but I figured it was OK since your parapro is snuggly, and, once school started, and Exhibit C loved you from the get go, I thought perhaps you were one of those "great with the kids, not.so.much adults" types of teachers. That said, I sure was impressed by your teaching philosophy and methodology.
However, receiving an email from you that stated "I know you work a lot but I think Thursdays are your day off and I was wondering if you wanted to go to the pumpkin patch with the class..." and, further, offering to schedule the entire field trip around when I would be available was, perhaps, one of the most awesome things I've ever seen a teacher do in both my professional and personal/parental educational "careers".
Not only does it show that you are sensitive to working moms (given that I might just be the only one of those in the entire school this is particularly impressive), but also that you know your students' schedules and life patterns well enough to know not just the days I pick up my child myself, but also which one is actually my day off. This really speaks volumes about you as a teacher and, frankly, as a person.
I'm sorry I ever doubted your warm fuzziness. You clearly have it in spades.
Your Pal,
The Cranky Princess
I wasn't so sure about you at back to school night. I was thinkin' you weren't really warm and fuzzy enough to be a pre-school teacher, but I figured it was OK since your parapro is snuggly, and, once school started, and Exhibit C loved you from the get go, I thought perhaps you were one of those "great with the kids, not.so.much adults" types of teachers. That said, I sure was impressed by your teaching philosophy and methodology.
However, receiving an email from you that stated "I know you work a lot but I think Thursdays are your day off and I was wondering if you wanted to go to the pumpkin patch with the class..." and, further, offering to schedule the entire field trip around when I would be available was, perhaps, one of the most awesome things I've ever seen a teacher do in both my professional and personal/parental educational "careers".
Not only does it show that you are sensitive to working moms (given that I might just be the only one of those in the entire school this is particularly impressive), but also that you know your students' schedules and life patterns well enough to know not just the days I pick up my child myself, but also which one is actually my day off. This really speaks volumes about you as a teacher and, frankly, as a person.
I'm sorry I ever doubted your warm fuzziness. You clearly have it in spades.
Your Pal,
The Cranky Princess
Friday, October 8, 2010
What Makes Me Cranky Right Now Is...
... people who can't see beyond the selfish scope of their own experiences to realize that each and every one of us has made mistakes and that the best we can do is learn from them and try to do better in the future.
... individuals who delight in others' misfortunes rather than celebrating with them their happiness and successes, for this indicates that said individuals really aren't very happy with themselves, and that, to me, is simply sad.
... people who intentionally try to hurt others because they've been wronged in the past. This won't make them feel better, it will only make them wallow even more in their own woe-is-me-ness.
... individuals who suck the life out of friends and family members who must endure their constant complaints about the smallest inconveniences. It is the ability to keep moving forward, regardless of circumstance, that best reflects one's true character.
... people who are game players, for if you've got something to say, have the courage to say it straight up.
... individuals who are takers, not givers, because giving of our selves, our time, our emotions, our possessions is a far greater gift and reaches far further than does expecting to be the center of attention and attempting to define oneself through ego strokes or material possessions.
... people with negative energy who try to bring others down with them. No one who has ever inspired greatness has done so through negativity. Why, then, would anyone not aspire to building people up instead of tearing them down?
... individuals who haven't the conviction to stand up for what's good and right, who don't understand that fair does not mean equal, who feel slighted by the hand they're dealt and therefore fail to appreciate the many daily blessings bestowed upon them.
... individuals who delight in others' misfortunes rather than celebrating with them their happiness and successes, for this indicates that said individuals really aren't very happy with themselves, and that, to me, is simply sad.
... people who intentionally try to hurt others because they've been wronged in the past. This won't make them feel better, it will only make them wallow even more in their own woe-is-me-ness.
... individuals who suck the life out of friends and family members who must endure their constant complaints about the smallest inconveniences. It is the ability to keep moving forward, regardless of circumstance, that best reflects one's true character.
... people who are game players, for if you've got something to say, have the courage to say it straight up.
... individuals who are takers, not givers, because giving of our selves, our time, our emotions, our possessions is a far greater gift and reaches far further than does expecting to be the center of attention and attempting to define oneself through ego strokes or material possessions.
... people with negative energy who try to bring others down with them. No one who has ever inspired greatness has done so through negativity. Why, then, would anyone not aspire to building people up instead of tearing them down?
... individuals who haven't the conviction to stand up for what's good and right, who don't understand that fair does not mean equal, who feel slighted by the hand they're dealt and therefore fail to appreciate the many daily blessings bestowed upon them.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
A Day with Special K
I was lucky enough to spend time with Special K today.
Special K loves unconditionally and has a work and service ethic like none other. She manages every aspect of her daily life with beauty and grace, even though she has two children with some special needs and a husband who is... let's go with... quirky. She is bright and engaging. Her plate is more than full. She sits on boards, she volunteers, she crafts, she corresponds, she cooks, she reads, she entertains, she cares deeply about everyone whose life she touches, and she shoots beautiful pictures.
Tonight I learned that Special K was recently called for jury duty and ended up sitting on a murder trial. It changed her life. That may sound far-fetched, but when you know Special K, the woman she is at her core, and understand that for which she stands, it seems natural.
In explaining the effect the experience had upon her, she told me stories about all of the other jurors she met. She has a personality to which people are naturally drawn, and it's not uncommon for folks to open up to her in ways they might not ordinarily. It came as no surprise that she knew each one's personal history and could tell me, in detail, about the jurors and their families, as if she'd known them for years.
She explained how amazing the bailiff was. A man named Love who has made a career not just of serving the court but also of serving at risk youth. A man whose number she collected so that he might come and speak at her boys' schools. A man who is willing to reach out to kids on whatever level is necessary, be it through a game of HORSE or a scared straight visit to his place of employment. A man whose pearls of wisdom touched Special K deeply enough for her to want to stay connected to him, you know, just.in.case.
She talked of blessings and gratitude and far away worlds that lie just down the road from where we both live. She quoted herself as she relayed a story about speaking to an elderly lady and, in doing so, reminded me of how incredible she's always been with older folks. Special K was the only person my grandmother could actually hear while not wearing her hearing aid... hmmmm... we still joke about it often.
As she talked to me about the murder trial experience, Special K welled up. She told me how she cried when the verdict was read, not because she didn't think it was the right verdict, but because of what she'd seen and heard and visualized and because not a single family member of either the accused nor the deceased was present in the courtroom for any part of the proceedings. That fact was hard to swallow for someone so focused on family.
After the trial, the jurors all stood together and breathed a collective sigh of sadness and relief. Special K glanced over at the oldest juror, Miss Y, who, she said, had really struggled throughout the deliberations. Miss Y knew the defendant was guilty but she hated that he was "just one more statistic". Special K, who, frankly, isn't overly religious but wanted to connect with Miss Y in way that would be meaningful to this wise woman, reached out her hands and asked Miss Y if she wanted to pray. Miss Y smiled through her tears and began to do just that. Special K noticed that Miss Y didn't pray for the defendant nor his victim but, instead, for the young men and women in Miss Y's community and countless other communities like it who have become numb to the horrors around them because it is, simply, a way of life.
Reflecting upon the process, Special K and I launched into an amazing discussion about what we are all born into, how we are the same and what things make the greatest impact in the lives of children. We agreed that breathing in that baby shampoo scent is made all the sweeter because when we snuggle a new baby we are also breathing in hopes, dreams, promises. Yet, even the tiniest moment can forever change the direction in which our lives take us. None of us is immune to that. None of us living just up the road know for sure the people we care most about won't ever take that ride into town.
And, with that, Special K's eyes were opened a little wider, her mind broadened a little bit more, and her ability to live and love without judgment reached new depths.
Special K loves unconditionally and has a work and service ethic like none other. She manages every aspect of her daily life with beauty and grace, even though she has two children with some special needs and a husband who is... let's go with... quirky. She is bright and engaging. Her plate is more than full. She sits on boards, she volunteers, she crafts, she corresponds, she cooks, she reads, she entertains, she cares deeply about everyone whose life she touches, and she shoots beautiful pictures.
Tonight I learned that Special K was recently called for jury duty and ended up sitting on a murder trial. It changed her life. That may sound far-fetched, but when you know Special K, the woman she is at her core, and understand that for which she stands, it seems natural.
In explaining the effect the experience had upon her, she told me stories about all of the other jurors she met. She has a personality to which people are naturally drawn, and it's not uncommon for folks to open up to her in ways they might not ordinarily. It came as no surprise that she knew each one's personal history and could tell me, in detail, about the jurors and their families, as if she'd known them for years.
She explained how amazing the bailiff was. A man named Love who has made a career not just of serving the court but also of serving at risk youth. A man whose number she collected so that he might come and speak at her boys' schools. A man who is willing to reach out to kids on whatever level is necessary, be it through a game of HORSE or a scared straight visit to his place of employment. A man whose pearls of wisdom touched Special K deeply enough for her to want to stay connected to him, you know, just.in.case.
She talked of blessings and gratitude and far away worlds that lie just down the road from where we both live. She quoted herself as she relayed a story about speaking to an elderly lady and, in doing so, reminded me of how incredible she's always been with older folks. Special K was the only person my grandmother could actually hear while not wearing her hearing aid... hmmmm... we still joke about it often.
As she talked to me about the murder trial experience, Special K welled up. She told me how she cried when the verdict was read, not because she didn't think it was the right verdict, but because of what she'd seen and heard and visualized and because not a single family member of either the accused nor the deceased was present in the courtroom for any part of the proceedings. That fact was hard to swallow for someone so focused on family.
After the trial, the jurors all stood together and breathed a collective sigh of sadness and relief. Special K glanced over at the oldest juror, Miss Y, who, she said, had really struggled throughout the deliberations. Miss Y knew the defendant was guilty but she hated that he was "just one more statistic". Special K, who, frankly, isn't overly religious but wanted to connect with Miss Y in way that would be meaningful to this wise woman, reached out her hands and asked Miss Y if she wanted to pray. Miss Y smiled through her tears and began to do just that. Special K noticed that Miss Y didn't pray for the defendant nor his victim but, instead, for the young men and women in Miss Y's community and countless other communities like it who have become numb to the horrors around them because it is, simply, a way of life.
Reflecting upon the process, Special K and I launched into an amazing discussion about what we are all born into, how we are the same and what things make the greatest impact in the lives of children. We agreed that breathing in that baby shampoo scent is made all the sweeter because when we snuggle a new baby we are also breathing in hopes, dreams, promises. Yet, even the tiniest moment can forever change the direction in which our lives take us. None of us is immune to that. None of us living just up the road know for sure the people we care most about won't ever take that ride into town.
And, with that, Special K's eyes were opened a little wider, her mind broadened a little bit more, and her ability to live and love without judgment reached new depths.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Governmental Improvements
And so it happened one school year that a certain cranky teacher asked her class to create the laws of the classroom. The students took the task seriously as she had explained to them that they were no longer just students but that they were, instead, the legislative branch of their government. They deemed her the executive branch (because apparently they knew there wasn't actually a royal branch. Whatever.) but only after engaging in an excellent discussion about whether the principal of the school was more like the president or the Supreme Court. They made the decision based on what they learned about roles, responsibilities, checks and balances.
Obviously, common courtesy dictated that if the judicial branch had to interpret the laws, the kids should, at least, share the laws with said government body, so off they went to visit the principal with their class constitution in hand. As they arrived, they found both the principal and assistant principal huddled together. They proudly presented their laws to the judicial branch for review. The justices scoured the document, asked quite a few open-ended questions and, ultimately, were thoroughly convinced that the class constitution was solid enough to receive a thumbs up.
Just before the group left the office, the principal asked "so, there were two of us today and we agreed. Does the Supreme Court have a method to keep ties from happening? If not, what do they do for a tie-breaker?"
Ahhhhh, a wide smile crept across the cranky teacher's face, for she knew with great certainty the kids had the answer to this one. They had discussed the number of judges and various policies and procedures.
From the back of the room, a little hand shot up to answer. The principal called upon him and the response was a resounding "rock, paper, scissors!!!!".
And suddenly the teacher's head was filled with visions of the Supreme Court justices going two out of three.
It's actually not a bad idea.
Obviously, common courtesy dictated that if the judicial branch had to interpret the laws, the kids should, at least, share the laws with said government body, so off they went to visit the principal with their class constitution in hand. As they arrived, they found both the principal and assistant principal huddled together. They proudly presented their laws to the judicial branch for review. The justices scoured the document, asked quite a few open-ended questions and, ultimately, were thoroughly convinced that the class constitution was solid enough to receive a thumbs up.
Just before the group left the office, the principal asked "so, there were two of us today and we agreed. Does the Supreme Court have a method to keep ties from happening? If not, what do they do for a tie-breaker?"
Ahhhhh, a wide smile crept across the cranky teacher's face, for she knew with great certainty the kids had the answer to this one. They had discussed the number of judges and various policies and procedures.
From the back of the room, a little hand shot up to answer. The principal called upon him and the response was a resounding "rock, paper, scissors!!!!".
And suddenly the teacher's head was filled with visions of the Supreme Court justices going two out of three.
It's actually not a bad idea.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Impact
I read something today and it reminded me of a few things in my life that make me smile and sigh happy sighs. In the big scheme of things, I suppose they are small... yet each one is truly impactful in my life.
1. I have awesome friends. I have the kind of friends that call to ask if you want to take a car ride so you can rest some place other than the two places you don't really feel like resting anymore; the kind that call to remind you for the 10,000th time about the horse that walked into a bar since they know it will make you laugh again and again because of its sheer stupidity; the kind that come and pick up your kids and take them blueberry picking, then bring them home and make blueberry bread with them; the kind you can call in the middle of the night to come sit in your house in case a child awakens; and the kind that deliver treats, DVDs, and, more importantly, their company. I'm not sure if everyone has these kinds of friends, but I do, and I appreciate them.
2. I don't have to work if I really don't want to, which is a blessing in and of itself. That said, I have things in my life about which I'm passionate, that I love to do. While there have been moments when I've worried about sacrificing time with my children in order to pursue these things, my jobs are flexible enough that I can usually strike a balance. Ultimately, though, whether the kidlets are watching me work with a child who has special needs or they are visiting my place of employment and wanting to be there more and more, I'm hopeful I'm setting a good example for them, teaching them to be compassionate, service-minded and inspired.
3. I have a sense of humor about everything. I can't imagine going through life without one. I could never take myself too seriously. To those that do, my deepest sympathies, for, as I've said time and again, I have learned that laughter is not only life's lovliest music, but also an amazingly powerful medicine upon which I rely heavily to get me through some of the tougher times I face.
4. I like to ride my bike. I like it enough that it doesn't even bother me to ride it on the trainer when that's my only option. Not only does it make me feel that even though my body's failed me, I can still do something for myself, but also it affords me the opportunity to catch up on a few t.v. shows or watch a DVD that a friend has delivered.
5. I've hiked and backpacked in amazingly beautiful and remote places where, often, I didn't see another soul for days on end. I've seen things that few other people have ever or will ever see. I have, perhaps, the world's ugliest Italian leather hiking boots. They cost a fortune back in the day, on my first year teacher salary, no less, but I needed them because they were warm and completely bulletproof. I girled them up by buying thin, pink bungee cord to use as laces. I still have 'em on there. I wish I had a sum total of all the miles I've hiked in them through the years. They've gotten me safely up my share of fourteeners and once kept me sure footed hiking through the Grand Canyon in the pitch dark. I love those stupid boots. It's not so much the boots that make the impact... it's the knowledge of the places I've been and the places I will go, one step at a time, under my very own power.
1. I have awesome friends. I have the kind of friends that call to ask if you want to take a car ride so you can rest some place other than the two places you don't really feel like resting anymore; the kind that call to remind you for the 10,000th time about the horse that walked into a bar since they know it will make you laugh again and again because of its sheer stupidity; the kind that come and pick up your kids and take them blueberry picking, then bring them home and make blueberry bread with them; the kind you can call in the middle of the night to come sit in your house in case a child awakens; and the kind that deliver treats, DVDs, and, more importantly, their company. I'm not sure if everyone has these kinds of friends, but I do, and I appreciate them.
2. I don't have to work if I really don't want to, which is a blessing in and of itself. That said, I have things in my life about which I'm passionate, that I love to do. While there have been moments when I've worried about sacrificing time with my children in order to pursue these things, my jobs are flexible enough that I can usually strike a balance. Ultimately, though, whether the kidlets are watching me work with a child who has special needs or they are visiting my place of employment and wanting to be there more and more, I'm hopeful I'm setting a good example for them, teaching them to be compassionate, service-minded and inspired.
3. I have a sense of humor about everything. I can't imagine going through life without one. I could never take myself too seriously. To those that do, my deepest sympathies, for, as I've said time and again, I have learned that laughter is not only life's lovliest music, but also an amazingly powerful medicine upon which I rely heavily to get me through some of the tougher times I face.
4. I like to ride my bike. I like it enough that it doesn't even bother me to ride it on the trainer when that's my only option. Not only does it make me feel that even though my body's failed me, I can still do something for myself, but also it affords me the opportunity to catch up on a few t.v. shows or watch a DVD that a friend has delivered.
5. I've hiked and backpacked in amazingly beautiful and remote places where, often, I didn't see another soul for days on end. I've seen things that few other people have ever or will ever see. I have, perhaps, the world's ugliest Italian leather hiking boots. They cost a fortune back in the day, on my first year teacher salary, no less, but I needed them because they were warm and completely bulletproof. I girled them up by buying thin, pink bungee cord to use as laces. I still have 'em on there. I wish I had a sum total of all the miles I've hiked in them through the years. They've gotten me safely up my share of fourteeners and once kept me sure footed hiking through the Grand Canyon in the pitch dark. I love those stupid boots. It's not so much the boots that make the impact... it's the knowledge of the places I've been and the places I will go, one step at a time, under my very own power.
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